As most of you know, for the most part I try not to speak of my personal life through the microphone of The Conservative Declaration. This show this organization is not about me or Adam or Ronald Reagan for that matter, it is about an ideology of small government, free market, and individual liberty! But as of recent, an event occurred in my life that made me have to laugh and I decided I couldn’t let it slide, I had to share this story with you my constituency.

My wife and I have decided to take advantage of the home buyers market. After all if you buy low you can sell high and since the market is so poor right now it is the perfect time to buy. Up until this point Ashlin and I have rented so this will be our first house and we decided to go through FHA. Which is the First time Home Buyers Association. Now part of Obama’s stimulus plan is to give any person who goes through FHA an $8,000 stimulus check as part of their tax return at the end of the year in hopes to encourage first time home buyers. However the stipulation is if you don’t stay in the house for at least three years you need to pay the 8,000 back. Personally I think the idea is bad because it is going to encourage people who don’t have enough money [to buy a home] to buy any way, banking off of this $8,000 check. Then when they run out of money in a year or two they will have to pay the money back to the government thus creating more foreclosures and people owing a debt to the government that they can’t pay off.

However I was getting into the market before this stimulus plan was passed and I can afford the house without the governments money. However, just like anyone else I am going to gladly take the $8,000 because it sure will help out in fixing up the house in order to increase its home equity so I can resell the house later on down the road for more than I payed for it. Which brings me to addressing the elephant in the room. Only this elephant is not an elephant he is a donkey, a jack ass. An old friend of mine, who just so happens to be an old washed up hippie, approached me the other day and asked, “so are you going to take advantage of the $8,000 that Obama is giving you?” I said, “Well I am going to take the money but it sure as heck isn’t going to come out of Obama’s pocket.” The old hipster then proclaimed, “ha-ha you hypocrite, always complaining about the government raising taxes but you are going to take the money anyway?”

Now me, being the overly prepared person that I am, had already done the math because I knew some loser was going to say this, and to which I replied, “The government is not giving me any money! They are returning $8,000 that they stole out of my labor for the past eight months! That’s right the government stole over $8,163.58 out of my pay checks for the past eight months, its about time they start giving it back in cold hard cash. They’re just lucky I am not charging them interest!” Thus leaving my adversary dumbfounded and speechless!